The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Jonah Hill just raised the bar on celebrity apologies.
The '22 Jump Street' star's emotional mea culpa on 'The Tonight Show' Tuesday night drew applause for what appeared to be genuine remorse for hurling a homophobic slur at a photographer ('Suck my d-, you f-.').
'The word I chose was grotesque, and no one deserves to say or hear words like that,' said Hill, dressed neatly in a suit and tie before the Jimmy Fallon audience. 'I'm sorry, and I don't deserve or expect your forgiveness.'
It was the second stop on his apology tour, which included an earlier interview on the Howard Stern show, where he called his own language 'disgusting.'
Hill's shame spiral hit all the right notes in an age when loose-lipped celebs often make lame excuses (NBA racist Donald Sterling), issue an apology in a tweet (Canadian racist Justin Bieber) or use wiggle words like, 'I apologize if anyone was offended' (too many to count!).
Sterling whined to Anderson Cooper that he was 'baited' into making the bigoted comments that cost him his job. Bieber's apology was worded better, but it's much easier to write an apology online - in 140 characters, max! - than it is to 'fess up under the hot lights of a TV studio.
Paula Deen certainly learned that during her 2013 'Today' show apology for using racial slurs. The Food Network star lost business with both Caesars Entertainment and Walmart after she told Matt Lauer, 'I is what I is.'
By comparison, Hill was a regret of fresh air.
'It was a model apology,' says Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute. 'I was impressed with his sincerity. It was moving.'
So let's break it down:
* The first thing Hill did right was face the public head-on instead of hiding behind a computer screen.
'For sensitive or emotional content, getting away from the written word is a powerful choice to make,' says Senning. 'Doing it in person on TV, where people can see him and relate to him, indicates how serious he was about giving this apology.'
* Hill's body language also revealed that his apology was the real deal.
'His mouth was dry. He looked nervous. He kept looking at the ground,' observes psychotherapist and 'How to Be a Grown Up' author Stacy Kaiser. 'He's a pro on TV, so for him to be that way means he couldn't hide his emotions.'
* He wore a suit, and got down to business as soon as he stepped on stage.
'He came dressed in a serious way, and he said to the audience that I'm going to be serious,' says Kaiser. 'He is the king of the joke ... and he went out of his way to show that what he did was not funny.'
* It was not overpolished.
CNN
Sure, the remorseful should plan what they want to say, but celebrities are notorious for studied apologies such as Bill Clinton's Monicagate confession, or Lance Armstrong's crocodile tears to Oprah during his doping scandal.
'What you see a lot in the media are people who give a rehearsed 'my-PR-team-coached-me' apology,' says Kaiser. 'The public wants to see an apology that seems natural and sincere.'
Reese Witherspoon came close to Hill's new chagrin standard after she was arrested for drunk driving in Georgia last year - but there was just a touch too much self-importance for many tastes.
'It's just completely unacceptable, and we are so sorry and embarrassed, and we know better,' she told ABC News. 'When you make a mistake, you take responsibility, and we are taking responsibility and doing everything in our power to make it right.'
Unlike Witherspoon, the 'Superbad' star didn't pat himself on the back for the apology, sticking instead to his own outrage at his behavior.
'It was really brave to speak out and say, 'If you're a young kid, use me as an example of what not to do,'' says celebrity image consultant Amanda Sanders, whose clients include Chris Rock and Wanda Sykes. 'Now he's not obligated to do endless public service announcements. He nailed it.'
Hill was also helped his cause by selecting Fallon as a wing man, similar to how Hugh Grant had Jay Leno cracking jokes during his 1995 'Tonight' apology for soliciting a prostitute.
'Jimmy Fallon helped his apology,' says Kaiser. 'He was very attentive and interested and kind, and then he followed it with a joke at Jonah Hill's expense to lighten the mood. That was his way of saying, I hear your apology, and now we can move on.'
Now that Hill has said the right words, the world will be watching to see whether he lives by them. Remember when Kanye West apologized for interrupting Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, only to retract it later?
'The test here will be, does he follow through?' says Senning. 'Does he still mean this apology a month or two years or four years from now, when the eye of the media isn't as focused on him?'
Because if Hill loses his cool again, he could risk becoming the next celebrity recidivist.
'Everyone is allowed to screw up sometimes,' says Sanders, 'but at this point when Alec Baldwin apologizes, it's like, 'Really?''
GIVE THE PERFECT APOLOGY
1. Don't over-explain. 'You can offer some context, but you don't want it to outweigh the apology,' says Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute.
2. No ifs, ands or buts. 'Conditional language ['I'm sorry if...'] doesn't acknowledge the pain or hurt caused,' says Senning.
Steve Helber/AP
3. Don't fake it. 'You need to find a real reason that you are sorry, and talk about that so that it's genuine,' says author Stacy Kaiser.
4. Don't text or tweet . Calling or speaking in person 'conveys pauses, speed and inflection, which gives your words a genuine quality,' says Senning.
5. Don't do it again. 'Everyone is allowed to screw up sometimes, but (not) all the time,' says Sanders.
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SORRY CELEBRITIES
These on-camera mea culpas were the worst of the worst.
Donald Sterling : The disgraced former L.A. Clippers owner kind of apologized last month for making racist comments. He then back-pedaled, saying he was 'baited' into making 'a terrible mistake.' Take responsibility already!
Mel Gibson : The 'Braveheart' actor sat down with Diane Sawyer to apologize for an anti-Semitic rant after he was pulled over for drunk driving in 2006 - but he spent too much time trying to explain what led to 'the stupid rambling of a drunkard.' Get to the point!
Anthony Weiner: After days spent lying and denying in 2011, the Queens Congressman finally apologized - but then refused to resign. Don't fight the fall!
Bill Clinton : The President confessed to having inappropriate sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky in a well-rehearsed 1998 address to the nation that critics argued wasn't contrite enough. You can't take back a finger wag!
Lance Armstrong : The seven-time Tour de France winner finally confessed that he cheated in a tear-filled January 2013 interview that spent more time almost-boasting about how much he lied. Stop trying to look good when you look bad!
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